Dialectical behavior therapy offers concrete, learnable skills for people who feel emotions intensely. Here is an introduction to what DBT skills are and how they help.
Some people feel emotions more intensely than others, with quicker spikes and slower returns to baseline. For them, being told to just calm down is useless. Dialectical behavior therapy, or DBT, was originally developed for people with borderline personality disorder and teaches concrete, practical skills for exactly this challenge. Its tools have proved helpful for a wide range of people who struggle with overwhelming emotion.
What DBT is
DBT blends acceptance and change. It validates that a person's emotions are real and understandable, while teaching skills to manage them more effectively. The name reflects that balance, holding two truths at once: you are doing the best you can, and you can build skills to do better. That stance itself often brings relief.
The core skill areas
- Mindfulness, learning to observe emotions without being swept away by them
- Distress tolerance, getting through crises without making them worse
- Emotion regulation, understanding and gradually shifting emotional patterns
- Interpersonal effectiveness, asking for what you need and setting limits while keeping relationships intact
Sources: National Institute of Mental Health, “Borderline Personality Disorder”; PubMed Central (peer-reviewed study), “Transdiagnostic skills training group of dialectical behavior therapy: a long-term naturalistic study”
How the skills help
DBT skills give people a toolkit for moments that used to feel unmanageable. Instead of being at the mercy of an emotional surge, a person learns to notice it, tolerate it, and respond deliberately. With practice, these skills become more automatic, and intense emotions become something a person can navigate rather than dread.
Learning the skills with support
DBT-informed skills may help many people who feel emotions strongly, not only those with a specific diagnosis. Dr. Kim works with adolescents and adults in Englewood and across Bergen County, drawing on evidence-based approaches to help clients build emotional regulation and coping skills. If big emotions have been running the show, these skills can help you take the lead.
Related services
This article is for general educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are in crisis or thinking about self-harm, call or text 988 (the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline).